December 10, 2023

Marriage, Love, and Intimacy – For Married Couples Both of You

Married Couples, now more than ever, have a deep and personal connection that is unique to their relationship. After all, marriage is a process that involves two people who become (and remain) committed to one another until death separates them. Marriage, therefore, is a commitment that brings a person together in a “lasting” and meaningful relationship. However, marriage does not always provide a level of emotional closeness that may be lacking in a dating relationship. In fact, studies indicate that many married couples suffer from low levels of emotional intimacy – lower than the rates recorded for single men and women. This is often correlated with sexual health dissatisfaction according to some men’s facilities such as Prime Men’s Medical Center.

Marriages today also face an increasing number of issues that stem from societal expectations. Those expectations include a notion that marriage is a natural institution that should endure for eternity. The recent decisions by the U.S. Supreme Court have further solidified the notion that same-sex marriage is a right that must be protected. In these circumstances, married couples are not only fighting for the right to enjoy the same legal rights that their heterosexual counterparts enjoy; they are also battling for the right to live as second-class citizens in a society that openly denounces their existence.

In the case of same-sex marriage, both partners must believe that their marriage is of worth. The act of legally recognizing a marriage requires that there be a significant level of belief on the part of the partners that they are committed to the marriage. This is where the issue of faith comes into play. As the court has stated, “both married couples may well desire to be bound by marriage irrespective of whether they hold a religious viewpoint,” thus opening the door for a compromise. Although same-sex couples may have differing beliefs when it comes to their marriage, they may still have grounds for a divorce if they do not believe that they are sufficiently committed to their marriage to move forward with the idea. If you are a same-sex couple and seeking a divorce, your chances of obtaining a favorable outcome are greatly reduced if your spouse does not share your same beliefs.

Many married people begin their married life with a clear intent to stay married for the duration of their marriage. For some this means planning regular date nights and carefully selecting the right romantic setting. While this is a common goal for many married people, others find that once they reach the age of fifty or sixty they begin to feel less close to their partner and more like a chore rather than an enjoyable experience. If this sounds like the situation you find yourself in, it may be time to consider changing your plan.

Some couples choose to remain married until they are in their fifties. Regardless of how long you intend to remain married, it is important that you speak frankly with your partner about the possibility of divorce. If you remain determined to make your marriage work despite your advanced years, it is likely that you and your spouse will remain lovers for many years to come. Many newlyweds remain married until they have children. If your spouse feels trapped in a relationship with you that lacks intimacy, or does not allow him or her to be his or her true self, it may be time to consider a divorce.

As one man said to me: “I am happy, healthy, and committed to my marriage. There is no question that my wife is better looking than me. She is kinder to me, and I love her very much. However, I would never want a divorce if I was married to one woman.”